Lo Siento vs Perdón vs Disculpa: Which Spanish 'Sorry' to Use

English speakers reach for 'sorry' in every situation: bumping into someone, expressing condolences, interrupting a conversation, getting a waiter's attention, mishearing someone on the phone. Spanish has three separate words for these situations — lo siento, perdón, and disculpa — and each one signals something different. Using the wrong one does not produce a grammar error, but it does produce the wrong social signal. Saying 'lo siento' when you bump into someone sounds like you're emotionally devastated about a minor collision. Saying 'perdón' when someone's relative dies sounds breezy and dismissive.

This guide covers each expression in full: what it literally means, when native speakers use it, what register it belongs to, and which English 'sorry' scenarios map to which Spanish word. It also covers the intensified forms (lo siento mucho, mil disculpas), the ¿Perdona? use for asking someone to repeat, and the regional variation between Spain and Latin America.

The Three-Way Split at a Glance

Lo Siento: Empathy and Genuine Apology

'Lo siento' literally means 'I feel it' — from the verb sentir, to feel. That etymology is the key to using it correctly. When you say lo siento, you are expressing that you feel the weight of what happened — you genuinely regret it, you empathize with the pain, you are emotionally engaged with the situation. This is the right choice when the apology actually means something: when you are late and kept someone waiting, when you said something hurtful, when you broke something valuable, when a friend is going through a hard time.

Because lo siento carries emotional weight, using it for trivial situations sounds disproportionate. If you brush past someone in a shop, saying 'lo siento' sounds like you ran them over. The natural choice there is perdón. But if you stepped on their foot hard, knocked over their coffee, or made them drop something, lo siento is exactly right. The rule of thumb: would you feel genuinely bad about this for more than five seconds? Use lo siento. Would you have forgotten about it in five seconds? Perdón.

• Apologies for being late: Lo siento por el retraso. / Lo siento, he llegado tarde.
• Apologies for saying something hurtful: Lo siento, no debería haberlo dicho.
• Condolences: Lo siento mucho. / Lo siento de verdad. (Said when someone loses a loved one.)
• Empathy for bad news: Lo siento, qué mala suerte. (I'm sorry to hear that, what bad luck.)
• Cancelling plans at the last minute: Lo siento, no puedo quedar esta tarde.
• Apologizing for a meaningful inconvenience: Lo siento, se me olvidó completamente.

Perdón: Quick Apologies and Pardon Me

'Perdón' comes from the verb perdonar, meaning to forgive or to pardon. It is the lightest-weight apology in Spanish — a social lubricant for the small, daily collisions of shared space. Madrid metro, Barcelona market, any crowded street — perdón is the word you say when you need someone to let you pass, when you accidentally bumped into them, when you need to squeeze past. It is not asking for deep forgiveness; it is signaling awareness and courtesy in a minor disruption.

In Spain, perdón carries the same casual weight as 'sorry' or 'excuse me' in a crowd. It is also the word you use when you interrupt someone who is talking — 'perdón, ¿puedo decir algo?' (sorry, can I say something?) — or when you need to cross in front of someone at the cinema or on a bus. You can also say 'perdona' (a softer form, addressing the person directly as tú) instead of 'perdón' in more personal situations, such as interrupting a conversation between two people you know.

• Bumping into someone in a crowd: Perdón. / ¡Perdona!
• Needing to pass: Perdón, ¿puedo pasar? / ¡Perdona, con permiso!
• Interrupting someone mid-sentence: Perdona, pero quería añadir algo.
• Accidentally blocking someone's view: Perdona, ¿te estoy tapando?
• Knocking something small over (not a big deal): Perdón.
• Calling out to get a stranger's attention (less formal): Perdona, ¿sabes dónde está la calle...?

¿Perdona? — Asking Someone to Repeat

There is one use of perdón that confuses English speakers: using it to ask someone to repeat what they said. '¿Perdona?' said with a rising intonation means 'sorry, I didn't catch that — could you repeat?' — exactly like 'pardon?' in British English. The same rising-intonation question is also used with '¿Perdón?' and '¿Cómo?' (literally 'how?' but used exactly like 'sorry?' or 'pardon?'). '¿Cómo?' is especially common in Spain for asking someone to repeat — native-level and completely natural.

Disculpa vs Disculpe: Getting Attention Politely

'Disculpa' and 'disculpe' both come from the verb disculpar, meaning to excuse. The difference is register: 'disculpa' is the informal tú form (used with people your age or in casual contexts), and 'disculpe' is the formal usted form (used with strangers, older people, and in service contexts like restaurants and shops). Both function primarily as a polite attention-getter — a way to address someone you don't know before asking a question or making a request.

In Madrid or Barcelona, 'oiga' (from oír — to hear, formal) and 'oye' (informal) are also common ways to get a waiter's attention, but disculpa and disculpe are the most universally polite. At a restaurant: 'Disculpe, ¿me puede traer la carta?' (Excuse me, could you bring me the menu?). Asking a stranger for directions: 'Disculpe, ¿sabe usted dónde está la Plaza Mayor?' (Excuse me, do you know where Plaza Mayor is?). With someone your own age: 'Disculpa, ¿tienes hora?' (Excuse me, do you have the time?)

• Getting a waiter's attention: Disculpe, ¿nos puede traer la cuenta?
• Asking a stranger for directions (formal): Disculpe, ¿me puede indicar cómo llegar a...?
• Asking someone young for directions (informal): Disculpa, ¿sabes dónde está...?
• Asking someone to move in a shop: Disculpa, ¿me dejas pasar?
• Addressing someone at a desk or counter: Disculpe, busco información sobre...
• Starting a formal request: Disculpe la molestia, pero... (Excuse the bother, but...)

The English Trap: 'Sorry' Maps to All Three

The problem for English speakers is that 'sorry' and 'excuse me' cover the same ground in English with no real system: you say 'sorry' for condolences, 'sorry' for bumping into someone, 'sorry?' when you didn't hear, and 'excuse me' for getting a waiter's attention or asking to pass. Spanish distinguishes these with three different words, each carrying a different emotional and social signal. The good news: once you understand the underlying logic, the mapping is straightforward.

When English 'Sorry' Means 'Lo Siento'

Lo siento is the right choice whenever 'sorry' carries genuine emotional weight. Apologizing for a meaningful inconvenience (being significantly late, forgetting an important date), expressing sympathy when someone shares bad news ('I'm so sorry to hear that'), and all condolence situations map to lo siento. If you felt truly bad about it — not just mildly socially inconvenienced — lo siento is your word. 'I'm sorry I missed your performance.' → 'Lo siento, no pude ir a tu actuación.' 'I'm so sorry about your grandmother.' → 'Lo siento muchísimo.'

When English 'Sorry' Means 'Perdón'

Physical bumps, minor disruptions, and the reflexive 'sorry' that comes out automatically in crowded spaces all map to perdón. 'Sorry!' when you step on someone's foot (lightly). 'Sorry, can I squeeze past you?' 'Sorry to interrupt, but...' 'Sorry?' when you didn't hear. These are all perdón situations. The key word is 'reflexive' — the apology that comes out automatically, not because you genuinely feel bad, but because social norms require it. 'Sorry, can I get past?' → 'Perdona, ¿puedo pasar?' 'Sorry, say that again?' → '¿Perdona/Cómo?'

When 'Excuse Me' Means 'Disculpa/Disculpe'

The 'excuse me' that opens a request to a stranger — getting a waiter's attention, asking someone for directions, addressing a person at an information desk — maps to disculpa (informal) or disculpe (formal). In Spain, using 'perdona' to get a complete stranger's attention in a service context is fine in casual situations, but 'disculpe' is the safer, more polished choice with anyone you don't know. At a formal restaurant, a hotel, or an office, always disculpe. With someone your own age on the street, either works.

Formal vs Informal Register

All three expressions have formal and informal variants. The register shift matters most with disculpa/disculpe (tú vs usted form) and with perdona/perdón. 'Perdona' (second person singular, tú) is slightly warmer and more personal than 'perdón' (which functions as an interjection). Similarly, 'lo siento' is the standard-register form; 'siento mucho haber llegado tarde' (I regret having arrived late) is more formal, while 'siento un montón' is informal-to-colloquial.

Intensifiers: How to Sound More Sincere

All three expressions can be intensified. For lo siento, the most natural intensifiers are 'mucho' (lo siento mucho — I'm very sorry) and 'muchísimo' (lo siento muchísimo — I'm so deeply sorry). 'De verdad' (lo siento de verdad — I really mean it) adds sincerity. 'Enormemente' (lo siento enormemente) is formal. For perdón and disculpa, intensity is added differently: 'mil veces perdón' (a thousand times sorry), 'mil disculpas' (a thousand apologies), and 'te pido disculpas' (I ask for your forgiveness — formal written or spoken).

• Lo siento mucho — I'm very sorry. Standard intensifier, any context.
• Lo siento muchísimo — I'm deeply sorry. More weight, sincere emotion.
• Lo siento de verdad — I really am sorry. Adds genuineness.
• Lo siento en el alma — I'm sorry with all my soul. Emphatic, condolences.
• Mil disculpas — a thousand apologies. Formal, often written.
• Te pido perdón / Le pido disculpas — I ask for your forgiveness. Formal speech or written.
• ¿Me perdonas? — Will you forgive me? Interpersonal, emotional.

Regional Variation: Spain vs Latin America

The three-way system works in both Spain and Latin America, but there are some regional tendencies. In Spain, 'perdona' and '¿cómo?' for asking to repeat are very common. In Mexico and much of Latin America, '¿mande?' is used in place of '¿cómo?' to ask someone to repeat — it comes from 'mandar' (to command) and functions as a polite 'pardon?' In Argentina, 'disculpá' uses voseo spelling but the same function. In most of Latin America, 'disculpe' holds across formal service contexts the same way it does in Spain. 'Lo siento' is universal across all regions.

What to Say When Someone Dies or Goes Through Something Hard

Bereavement expressions are one area where getting the right word matters enormously. When a Spanish speaker tells you their parent, spouse, or close friend has died, the appropriate immediate response is 'lo siento mucho' or 'cuánto lo siento.' These carry the weight the moment requires. Formal condolences add 'mi más sentido pésame' (my deepest sympathies) or 'te/le acompaño en el sentimiento' (I share your grief — very Spanish, very standard). When someone tells you about a serious illness, a break-up, a job loss, or a difficult situation: 'lo siento' is always the right first response.

Practice: Lo Siento, Perdón, or Disculpa?

The three-way system becomes second nature quickly once you internalize the underlying logic: lo siento = I feel it (emotion, empathy, genuine regret); perdón = quick social apology (disruptions, interruptions, asking to repeat); disculpa/disculpe = polite attention-getter (strangers, service contexts, formal requests). For more on Spanish expressions that trap English speakers, see our guides on /blog/false-friends-spanish-guide/ and /blog/calque-errors-spanish-guide/. For the conjugation and full usage of the verbs behind these expressions — sentir, perdonar, and disculpar — the MuyVerbs verb library covers all three with full tense tables.

MuyVerbs covers over 3,015 Spanish verbs with full conjugation tables across all 18 tenses. The learning path guides you through exactly the kind of expression-level precision this guide covers — from the first uses of common verbs to native-level nuance. The quiz tool makes it easy to drill the situations you find hardest.